Domination
by Xanzi
Summary: The world is being taken over by a...evil bunnybutterflysquirrel? o.O


Ok. Well,this ispretty much just a weird --- email storythat FluffysMate17 and I wrote. Yes, that's why it stops in the middle of a sentence at times. Btw. A/N: To keep the rating down, all "explicit content" appears as "----". However, this is not to be confuzzled with the -TEXT- that means that the "TEXT" is an action being performed. Anyway, that's about it. So...I'll shut up now, shall I? Enjoy!

-----

Oh, look! Here comes another butterfly!

The cat crouches...pounces...

Later, the owner comes in to find the poor, mangled remains of a...VENEMOUS BUTTERFLY! The cat lies dead next to it. -Sob- poor kitty...

-Gasp-! The owner gently lifts the still body of the cat. Overcome by grief, the owner tragically commits suicide...

3 police officers show up and find the dead bodies of a cat and a butterfly and the owner (who is female). One sees the dead cat and, overcome by grief, commits suicide. One sees the butterfly and does the same. One sees the woman of his dreams lying dead on the ground and decides to join her. He too commits suicide.

After a few hours, at 11:46 pm, the mangled remains of the butterfly suddenly start twitching...they rise up into the air and...

Slowly...piece by piece...the butterfly is put back together...when completely whole, it looks at the bodies of everyone that lie around it...

"My mom was right" it said, "being an assassin is a good job for me..."

It flies out the window and down the pitch black street...eventually coming to a stop outside a broken down house...it flies inside and lands on the hand of a grubby man...

"Mission accomplished, Osama," it said.

Osama gently stroked the butterfly saying, "Good, good". The butterfly glows purple, and Osama puts it down onto the floor. slowly, the butterfly morphs...stretching...growing...until finally, it turns into a fuzzy pink (gasp) squirrel!

-high pitched scream- ANYTHING BUT THE SQUIRREL!  
"Go" Osama said.

He gave the evil assassinator squirrel a nut.  
"Right" said the squirrel.

He skipped out the window and into the street...there he sat...waiting for a car to come..."vroooooom" a car sped along the dark street. the assassinator squirrel jumped out in front of it and - BAM - he was hit. The car jerked and accidentally ran off the road into a tree; in the crash, the driver was killed. the passenger was alive, but disoriented. stepping out of the car, (which happened to be a limo) out came...GEORGE BUSH? (-audience gasps-) He sees that his driver is dead and shrugs. Drivers are easy to come by. Then he sees the body of the dead little pink squirrel. "NOOOOOO! THE CUTE FUZZY PINK SQUIRRELLY IS DEAD!" These words said, he dramatically takes out a bomb from the demolished limo...

In his despair and rage, he forgot that the bomb he had pulled out was a weapon of mass destruction. dropping the nuke, he blows up himself (audience cheers) and everything within a 100 mile radius. Radiation mutates (or kills) anything within a 500 mi radius...dead...silence...blood...everything has a soft green glow to it from the radiation, but nothing changes...all is dead...dead...DEAD! (teehee...) but then blood from the radiation victims pours into the body of the lifeless squirrel...its eyes glow red with a demonic atrocity...it sits up...mutilated by the radiation, its appearance is no longer that of a squirrel, but...

A... evil... assassinating... BUNNY RABBIT! (-audience screams-) slowly, the demonic bunny rabbit surveys the death and destruction and mutation... its dead, rotting lips curve upward in an evil smirk. it makes its way toward the limo- which had miraculously survived the bomb. Slicing the back part open with a huge paw, out spilled...ENOUGH BOMBS TO END HUMANITY! As the demon bunny collected the bombs, an evil plan began to form in its head...

The plan was not yet formed, but the demonic bunny was dying...dying from the lack of pain and suffering to those around it, cuz that's what it lived on. The bunny needed to be in the presence of constant death...destruction...pain...otherwise, the bunny itself would be destroyed. Collecting the bombs in its "kangaroo pouch" (yea, from the radiation), it flew from the site of the nuke (police siren whirring in the background...getting closer) on pink fluffy wings, and went to (dun dun dun...) Saddam's acid chambers. Sustaining itself with the pain of the victims, it began to reformulate its plan...

The plan involved cockroaches- lots and lots of cockroaches. After checking it over with Saddam and Osama, his makers, he began to plant bomb after bomb in places all over the world. When one of them went off, it would trigger a chain reaction. Also, he secretly began to recruit all the cockroaches in the world! He passed out many inconspicuous surveys everywhere. he accepted only a few. all the accepted ones looked something like this:

Name: bob

Species: cockroach

Do you want to destroy the whole world? yes  
Cockroach after cockroach he recruited until finally...

Every cockroach with the name "Bob" (that being every cockroach) had been recruited to the demonic forces of the Middle East Axis of Evil. Of course, the demonic bunny didn't stop at cockroaches; he started recruiting other animals with hidden satanic capsules (aka. evil souls) hidden within them. Yellow jackets, wasps, hornets, komodo dragons, slizzards (no clue what a slizzard is...but from what I've heard, they sound evil), etc. The recruits were brainwashed: the evil bunny was Satan (er...God). They evil bunny must be both loved and feared. In short, do whatever the evil bunny says.

All the bombs had been strategically planted. Now all that was needed for the plan was a suicide bomber to detonate the first one...setting off a chain reaction- setting off every bomb in the chain, creating a nuclear Armageddon...

Because every human had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what was going on except for Osama and Saddam, they made the slizzard be the suicide bomber. Everybody hates slizzards. All the evil creatures recruited were so vile that they could survive a nuclear blast. Especially the cockroaches. So the vile creatures all covered the 2 evil men. When the men were completely covered (so that they too would survive the nuclear blast), the satanic bunny radio called in to the suicide slizzard. The slizzard listened to the orders and then headed for Tokyo. At Tokyo, he first made a quick stop and stole 2 things.  
1) Rumiko Takahashi  
2) Fluffy

When he had them, he sped them back to Osama and Saddam. On the way, he also picked up a few female models- if there was going to be a dictatorship, there first had to be a species to rule over! after the poor models and Rumiko Takahashi and fluffy were covered in evil beings, the suicide slizzard readied his reactant...

He suddenly realized that he forgot to pick up sushi in Tokyo (audience gasps) stuffing the sushi into his mouth, the slizzard runs back. Without second thoughts of his suicide he strikes a match and holds it to the dynamite strapped around him. Unfortunately, dynamite is not meant to be used as a suicide detonator (duh), and the slizzard is blasted into the air (audience cranes their necks to watch the slizzard). Up...up...up...hits a nuke being flown over from Russia. The nuke blows up, shattering the ground with glowing bloody remains of the nuke and the slizzard combined...not only had the suicide detonation not worked, but the slizzard had thwarted Russia's plan to nuke Bush (yes, I know that Bush is dead. The US is attempting to keep it hushed up so that other countries won't try to take advantage of its weakness.) (audience groans)...

People have started to figure out that something is going on. News leaks out of the bomb and the slizzard and people all over the world start to panic...

Meanwhile, 2 teenage girls are meeting in a basement thousands of miles away.  
"Jessie, when did the story we were writing start becoming reality?" asked the ugly, blond one.  
"i dunno, but it's awesome!" said the pretty black haired girl, known as Jessie.  
"THEY KILLED GEORGE BUSH!" the blond one yelled.  
"so?" asked Jessie. "get to your point, Steph..."  
"THEY TOOK RUMIKO TAKAHASHI AND FLUFFY HOSTAGE!" Steph screamed, nearly in hysterics.  
Jessie gasped and said, "OH THAT EVIL BUNNY HAS GONE TO FAR! WE MUST END THIS STORY AND SAVE RUMIKO TAKAHASHI! AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, FLUFFY!"  
"NOW YOU GOT IT!" said Steph. "its time to start making this story uglier than it already is..."

The two teenage girls start to devise a plan. They figure that the only reason that the story was coming true was because they wrote it in the first place. Therefore, if the story didn't exist, then the reality would once again be fantasy. The only way to do that, would be to destroy the story...the ugly black haired girl known as Jessie created a computer virus. once let out, it would scan every computer on the planet earth, plus Mars and Venus, just in case. It would locate all emails related to the topic and destroy them. Zap. Gone. Now all that was left to do was to click the "send" button...the pretty blonde girl known as Steph has her hand on the mouse...cursor hovering over the button...when all of a sudden, the computer shuts down. the lights go out. (audience gasps) all the power on the east coast has been shut down by what seems like an army of Bob-the-cockroaches...

People were dying. children were crying. cockroaches were invading... just your normal, everyday scene, right? Down in the basement, the ugly blond girl and the pretty black haired girl were cursing in every language known to man.  
"Dang, what r we gonna do now?" asked Steph.  
"I dunno," said Jessie, "are we the only ones without power?"  
"Lets go check!" cried Steph.  
The 2 girls raced out of the basement, after first carefully ejecting the disk that held the "Search, find, and destroy bots" in it. The whole neighborhood didn't have power.  
"Come on!" said Jessie, grabbing Steph and yanking her into a run. "We have to find a place that has power!"  
After inquiring at several places and making several calls from a cell phone (Steph: use Verizon! Jessie: shut up, this is a story u idiot! Steph: yeah, yeah...) they found out that the closest place that still had power was a high tech lab in California. It also turns out that several of the best technicians were working on the case. The girls looked at each other and nodded.  
"WE NEED TO GET TO CALFORNIA!" yelled Steph.  
"How the heck are we supposed to get there quickly?" asked Jessie.  
They both thought for a few minutes, and then they both came up with an idea. "TO THE WHITE HOUSE!" they cried, "WE NEED TO SEE DICK CHENEY!"

Upon approaching the premises of the white house, the ugly black haired girl and the pretty blond girl were met by the secret service. After failed attempts at trying to convince them that they were the only hope to the world, Steph and Jessie executed a series of matrix moves, leaving every member of the secret service unconscious. Picking up a few automatic machine guns from the secret service (Jessie: OMG, sweet!) they both head into the white house. Jessie points her gun at the secretary's head and demands to see Cheney.

"Uhh...Jessie? That might not be the best approach...", said Steph.  
Too late; the secretary ducks beneath his bulletproof desk and presses the emergency button. no more than 5 seconds later, an army (yes, ARMY) of secret service agents stream through a hole in the ceiling, blocking every exit. They all had fully loaded hi-tech Uzi submachine guns...  
"Oh ----, said Jessie.  
"----. ----. ----.", said Steph.  
"Ah. This is ------ up. ----. CENSORED" said Jessie  
While the two girls were standing in the middle of the circle cursing...

Dick Cheney walked in! (audience gasps)  
"What's going on here?" He demanded. "Ever since my colleague, Bush, never came back from his secret mission of transporting bombs back from Iraq, this place had been in uproar."  
Spotting the ugly blond girl and the pretty black haired girl with machine guns (Jessie: -holds her gun tighter- I WILL NOT LET MY PRECIOUS BE TAKEN AWAY! Steph: er... not the best time... Jessie MINE! Steph -slaps forehead-) in the middle of a circle of his secret agents.  
"What's going on here?" He asked. Noticing the fact that 50 members of his secret service were pointing guns at 2 teenage girls made a weird picture, he ordered, "Take away their guns."  
"NO!" yelled the pretty black haired one. Unfortunately, she was overwhelmed by, not the secret service, but the blond one. The ugly blond one was holding Jessie's arms at her sides with all her strength.  
"Jessie," she shouted, "Cheney is our only hope at getting a hope to save our ------ planet, okay!"  
Jessie growled "But Steph...I've waited so long to touch one...-she looks longingly at her gun-"  
Steph -not fooled by puppy dog eyes- "Jessie..." she warned.  
"okay, okay," said Jessie, throwing her gun down.

Steph more politely handed her gun to a random secret service member. Jessie, in a bad mood from stress and parting anxiety with her baby (gun), snapped, "okay, look dude. (to Cheney). we know why our stupid earth is about to blow up. and we need your help to stop it."

"You see this disk i have?" said Jessie -brandishes disk- "this is our ------ country's only ------ hope (still extremely PO'd), so let us on a ------ computer and we'll launch the ------ virus"  
"Er...Jessie?" said Steph. "Could you stop ------ cursing, already?"  
"You stop ------ cursing!" shouted Jessie.  
Cheney interrupted "Ok then, computer. the SS will escort you"  
While the two girls continue arguing (Jessie: -----. Steph: ----. Yea, you get the idea) the SS leads them downstairs...downstairs...and further downstairs...until they reach a room with a pink neon door. The two teenage girls walk in, and the SS shuts the door behind them. When the girls turn around, they find themselves face to face with none other than Osama and the demonic pink squirrel (audience gasps. one elderly lady faints. paramedics rush to the scene)...

(The paramedics tell everyone to remain calm and that the lady will be fine.)  
"So..." said Osama, "we finally meet...the reason why we have come this far..."  
Saddam arrives. "Good thing we paid off those SS idiots. They've been very helpful. Ah..." -He sees the 2 girls- "so, we've caught them!" -Turns to pink demon squirrel- "Get the virus disk! it's the only chance this world has at stopping us."

The demon squirrel decides to go for the approach that usually works on teenage girls. The "I'm so cute and fluffy come pet me" maneuver. unfortunately, he didn't realize that he was walking towards 2 squirrel-hating teens. as he started to approach the one who held the disk in his cutest fashion, the pretty black haired one shot him a look of venom and...hissed? Yup, that was a hiss all right. for the first time in his whole career, that evil squirrel felt a thrill of fear. He backed away. This pretty, black haired one was obviously completely insane. (Steph lol Jessie -Hisses again and attacks the squirrel-) in it's moment of weakness, the squirrel didn't notice that Jessie had slipped the disk to Steph. Steph knew just what to do, even though she REALLY didn't want to. she took a deep breath... and ran squealing towards the demon squirrel. "oooh it's SOOO CUTE!" she cried, pouncing on it. Osama and Saddam knew that the squirrel was an evil killing machine, so they backed up to watch. the pink squirrel, regaining its cool, dodged and headed for Jessie. while it's back was turned, Steph started all-out sprinting for the computers (which were on the other side of the room). Osama and Saddam were about to go after her, when Jessie sidestepped the squirrel and walked toward them. she also knew what she had to do, and she wanted to do it even less than what Steph had to do. she also took a deep breath and... started flirting with Osama and Saddam. she had to distract them, no matter what!

-Shoots Steph a look of pure VENOM- -flirting- (grrrr...) the old freaks' jaws drop. The pink squirrel turns around and stares. Steph, while laughing her --- off, turns and runs to a comp. No one besides Jessie notices, because of obvious reasons (GRRR...). Steph slips the disk into the drive, and waits for the "send" button to pop up. Unfortunately, the squirrel hears Steph laughing and turns around. Quickly, Osama whips out a machine gun and points it at Steph (Jessie: my baby! Steph: Jessie...this really isn't the best time...Jessie: -lunges for her baby (gun) squirrel grabs her. Jessie: get the ---- off my baby! Get your ------ hands off me, you ------ son of a ----- squirrel!)

Osama says, "Back away from the comp, or I'll blast your ------ brains out"...

Just then, the "send" button popped onto the screen...just as a light bulb popped over Jessie's head. Turning to the squirrel, which was still in shock from the sight of Jessie flirting (audience laughs), Jessie lunges at it and grabs it.  
"Oy, pea brains!" she yelled. They looked over. "Put the gun down, or the ------ bunny/squirrel thing dies."  
Osama and Saddam exchange looks. They shrug, turning back to Steph.  
"His task has been completed," said Saddam, "we don't need him anymore."  
Osama leveled a gun at step's head... and... DICK CHENEY RAN INTO THE ROOM! Distracted, Osama and Saddam turned away from Steph. Which gave her just enough time to click the button.

Ping (don't you just hate that "error" noise?) For a moment there was silence as everyone stared at Steph, who was staring at the screen. A look of disbelief spread across her face.  
"Dammit Jessie! The worldwide web's down!" she cried.  
"WHAT!" screeched Jessie.  
For the who-the-heck-knows-how-many-time today, Jessie and Steph exchanged looks.  
"TO BILL GATES!" they screamed. Steph ejected the disk as Osama, Saddam, the squirrel, Dick Cheney, and the secret service (which had just arrived) exchanged looks. Racing out the door, the only thing that could be heard aside from the sound of feet hitting pavement was Steph asking Jessie,  
"Where does Bill Gates live again?"

Both Osama and Saddam empty their magazines into the closed door, which was, fortunately, bulletproof. Down the hallway, two security guards were patrolling. Again, pulling off matrix moves, the two girls KO the guards and each grab a machine gun. (Jessie: my baby! Steph: Jessie... JESSIE! -Grabs Jessie's arm and drags her out-)  
"Where the ---- does gates live...?" said Jessie  
Steph said, "er... well, the world is round...if we keep walking in one direction, we'll get there... eventually..."  
Jessie said, "eventually. Right. How bout no?"  
Steph said, "fine. Where's his house then?"  
Jessie -turns to audience and asks if they knew where Bill Gates lives- (audience member shouts out address) "see? Perfectly easy way. Now lets go."

After hitchhiking about 876485845 miles, they reached Gates's mansion, where they were met with...

Some random maid. She tried to keep them out of the mansion, but Steph and Jessie simply push her aside. Running around the house, they finally came to Gates's study. Barging into it, they forced a stunned Gates to freeze and raise his arms over his head.  
"What do you want?" he whimpered. "If it's money you want, I can give you more than you could imagine!"  
(Jessie: oooh! Steph: NO! WE JUST NEED TO USE THE FREAKING INTERNET! Jessie: deflates)  
"Look," said the ugly blond girl. "We just need access to your internet system. In case you didn't notice, it's not working anywhere else in the world."  
"Oh... okay" he said, looking relieved. He led the way quickly to a room filled with computers.  
(Steph: OOOOH FREE INTERNET ACCESS! and I bet he hasn't blocked Quizzilla... -pant- Jessie: WE ARE NOT HERE TO ENJOY OURSELVES! WE NEED TO SAVE OUR ------ EARTH! Steph: well, after we do that, we can enjoy FREE INTERNET ACCESS! AND QUIZZILLA! -PANT-)  
Steph handed the disk to Jessie and she inserted it into a computer... then they waited for the stupid computer program to boot up...

Meanwhile, Saddam and Osama were on their tracks and the bunny had been sent to blow the first bomb - thus setting off a chain reaction...

The world is getting closer to destruction as the evil bunny speeds closer to where the first bomb has been planted.

Of course, the bomb in Bill Gates's private the circuit had to detonate right after the send button popped up. Unfortunately, Steph clicked a split second too late. The internet crashed just as Steph clicked.

"Oh ----" she said.  
"Ugh... again?" said Jessie.  
"Yes. Again." said Steph.  
They looked at each other, and then declared. To Canada!

Steph looks at Jessie. "Uh, why are we going to Canada?"

Jessie said, "Dude. The bunny just wants to destroy the US cuz we're so damn better than everyone else"  
"Ah. True. To Canada!" said Steph.  
They "borrow" rocket packs from Bill Gates's secret illegal transportation stash and head to Canada.

Meanwhile, the evil bunny had reached area of the first bomb, where it started leeching the pain of near dead people... the radiation glowed green on it, and it began to mutate again, this time taking the appearance of...

...A pretty woman! (No! not that! audience screams) she walks into Tokyo, and hooks a ride off some moron guy. He takes her to the dock, where she hitches a ride of another moron. When the ship was leaving, she used her hypnotism to get the whole crew to obey her. She takes them to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean - where Atlantis is supposed to have sunken. They needed more power for their evil scheme to work. Atlantis was supposed to use awesome forms of power... if they could only find it, the world would be theirs...

Meanwhile, the girls had arrived in Québec. Both Jessie and Steph walk up to the French resource lab and start to threaten the scientists there in French. They manage to get in, and race to a computer. Jessie inserts the CD. They wait for it to load...

"----," Said Jessie. "The disk isn't compatible with this computer!"  
"What the ---- do we do now?" said Steph...

"Well...the only way is to construct a completely new virus", said Jessie  
Steph said, "fine...if we must".  
Together they work on the virus. When they are finally done, they wait for the box to pop up. It worked. Before anything else could happen, Steph clicked the send button...

When at the same time, the killer lady was trying to resurrect Atlantis from it's watery grave...by some weird supernatural way, it worked...just as the virus was sent out all over the world! Using the force of Atlantis, the evil lady thingy summoned the 2 girls who had caused all the trouble.  
"Oh, ----." said Jessie.  
"What the ----" said Steph, "why didn't it ------ work?"  
The lady interjected, saying, "It seems we have reached a stale mate. Our bombs were deactivated, but we now have the power to destroy the world without silly bombs! Moo hahaha!"

Jessie said, "'Moo haha'...er...now you're a cow on laughing gas?"  
The lady turned blurple (yea, BLURPLE beotch!) with rage. "I'm NOT a ------ cow on ------ laughing ---- gas!"  
Steph said, "Geez...anger management, freak"  
this proved to be too much taunting for the lady's brain to handle. Her brain, which happened to be approximately 1/942369555555554698765 the size of an ant's (no measurement small enough to describe it), churned in an attempt to think of a comeback, until green (yea, GREEN, fo-shizzle)Foam poured out from behind its eyeballs. Steph looked at Jessie, and Jessie, understanding the unspoken plan, nodded in agreement. Simultaneously, they stepped forward and...

STARTED SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS IN THE LADY'S EARS REALLY LOUDLY! NO! THE HORROR OF HEARING THE SAME STUPID SONGS REPEATED AGAIN... AND AGAIN... AND AGAIN! GAH!  
Her brain continues to foam until her eyeballs popped out of her head and she fell to the ground, dead. (Seemingly)  
"Yeah, we rock!" said Steph.  
"That's right -----! W00t!" said Jessie.  
A pop sounded from behind them.  
"That is NOT good," said Steph.  
They slowly turn and find that the lady's head has popped off and out comes... an evil, ugly...

Horrobit! (No clue what that is) it bared its pink heart-shaped teeth at the girls and growled. Then slowly, it split in half...and in half again...and the halves split in half...etc. until the girls were surrounded by horrobits. The horrobits closed in, threatening to kill the girls by their Pink Power.

The girls foolishly tried to scare them off, but to no avail. The horrobits closed in and one by one began tickling the girls. Jessie and Steph were overwhelmed and eventually went crazy over the constant tickling. The horrobits then went and did the same to Osama and Saddam. However, they weren't strong enough to handle it and died. The horrobits took over the world, Steph and Jessie became their personal slaves, and everyone lived in constant fear of being tickled. The end.

Can u believe that all this came out of a cat and a butterfly?


End file.
